The Cost of Giving is Receiving

I was sitting alone in a café waiting for friends to arrive. We were meeting to exchange ideas for our new website. Thoughts were running at a fast pace in my mind, distracting me from my surroundings. My passion to create this new career has triggered some old, fearful worries that it may not be successful, and so earlier that morning, I asked for help.

Attitudinal Healing teaches that it is the mind that needs healing; and that I possess the power to shift my thoughts from fear to love if I choose. It is a simple choice but not easy sometimes. Sometimes, I hang onto fear like a security blanket... However, in my prayerful, meditative moment that morning before the meeting, I asked God for a sign. I felt that I needed reassurance that my new career path was right because I didn't trust myself. I knew a burning bush was not going to happen in the middle of a café, but I hoped that at least something significant would appear. The truth was, I needed to drop my harsh judgments of myself. My focus on my weak and unsure self image was blocking my recognition of who I really am which is talented, creative and hardworking. No outside fire was going to burn those thoughts away!

Jerry Jampolsky tell us in his book, Teach only Love that," One moment of love can show us how mistaken our puny self image can be, for it brings clearly to mind the fact that we are united with all life and that no form of comfort, help or healing is out of our reach."

And then, a moment of love happened with a young woman who appeared in front of my eyes.

"Excuse me. I don't mean to bother you but did you work at Central High in the English Dept?

I looked closely at her face as I answered…"Yes…I retired 5 years ago, but I was there for 15 years."

She told me her name and then her story of her one year assignment at the school in 2003; her room was down the hall from mine. As she talked, familiar names and faces began to flood my mind, and I remembered the happy times I had in my 25 year career as a teacher.

Jerry also says that" a good rule for mental conduct is to think whatever thoughts make you truly happy." I remembered that being a teacher made me truly happy, and my new career still involved teaching.

"You helped me so much! I will always remember your kindness. I had a great experience and you were part of it… it changed my life."

I was now smiling and totally amazed by this human billboard of love standing in front of me, and I gave up my puny self for the truth of my larger, loving self.

"Are you still teaching?" I asked.

"Oh no, I got married and had twins… they are now 5 and in school. I am working in retail now but would love to go back to teaching. Plus, I am recently divorced…"

"I'm sorry"…"I interjected with great empathy remembering my own experience with divorce.

"No, don't be… he was abusive…it is for the best."

I heard the sadness in her softer voice tone and saw her eyes moisten. She looked away for a moment but rebounded with a smile. I instantly felt connected to her, and compelled to describe my new career with counseling groups to her. As I talked, I felt excited about my work; she was interested and took my number. Her initial, loving compliments gave me strength and confidence. I then extended love to her through invitation and information about my counseling work

Jerry also says in his book, "When we give of our strength, the result is not that we have less of it but more."

Soon after she left, my friends arrived, and I felt more confident and less anxious about the meeting. I told this story to my friends…"I asked for a sign and I received it"

Jerry's words are true…"The real gift is the extension of love in our hearts"